Call me a physic.

I knew this was going to happen. as much as I hoped it wouldn't, I knew it would. and it's not any less painful then I thought it would be. but I'm building up walls cause I refuse to let you see my pain when your so happy.

I truly did love you. maybe not in the way you thought... the way I often times let you believe. but it's still just as painful and hard to see someone you cared for, someone you spent so much time with, just to forget everything so easily, and move on without even the slightest notion of looking back. However it does makes me realize that everything we did 'have' was fake. it was an illusion made up of insecurities. Everything you said was 'real' until you found someone else you could be 'real' with. those same exact words you said to me proved themselves to be nothing more then lies. words so specific and individual cannot be shared once again with someone different. therefore they become lies. but they are no longer my lies. no longer something I will or can believe.

Even though I told you I wished you the best I can't help but want you to be hurt, to be in pain, and feel as miserable as I do. I know it's wrong, but thats just simply the way I feel.

I know it may hurt for a while, but letting go of you was the right thing to do. I know you felt hurt in the beginning. like I had betrayed you. as often as I tried to explain why I did it I know you did not understand. you probably never will. I know that both of us can only be happier in the end, rather then if I had held onto you... if you were still 'Mine'.

The Love I used to feel for you is (hopefully only temporarily) turned to bitterness, and something close to hatred. so this is my goodbye to you. someday I hope I really can wish you the best with a real sincerity.

Why can't you just hold me?

Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And comfortable as you are
You count the days

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
still care

You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care

Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days


And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care

Day 25

Day 24

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there. I live inside my head. it's a wonderful place... most of the time... Unless I wander to far into the darkness. those days are rather gloomy, but for the most part the place I live is a place of all kinds of possibility's.

Day 23

This makes me laugh everytime. "cause my daddy taught me good!"

watch the itunes song too ;)

Day 22

Check out my other blog where I post my photography.

http://jossypix.blogspot.com/

also follow me on twitter?

http://twitter.com/#!/PeaceLoveCrepes

Day 21

Bahaahaha, that is something that I would not know to much about. I'm not a cook, although I do love creating.... mixtures of strange sorts. whenever I do cook, I pretend that I am a really fancy cook. hehe, it's fun =)

my siblings love it when I cook these Hash brown type thing. haha. I'm just going to call it "Hatch browns."

cook a baked potato (until it's tender)

Grate it into a pan that has either oil or butter.

add Johnny's salt, along with some other salt.

add grated cheese in.

a few drops of lemon juice

once they start to brown add 2 TBS of Cream cheese...

it's waaaay much yummy in your tummy :)