Call me a physic.

I knew this was going to happen. as much as I hoped it wouldn't, I knew it would. and it's not any less painful then I thought it would be. but I'm building up walls cause I refuse to let you see my pain when your so happy.

I truly did love you. maybe not in the way you thought... the way I often times let you believe. but it's still just as painful and hard to see someone you cared for, someone you spent so much time with, just to forget everything so easily, and move on without even the slightest notion of looking back. However it does makes me realize that everything we did 'have' was fake. it was an illusion made up of insecurities. Everything you said was 'real' until you found someone else you could be 'real' with. those same exact words you said to me proved themselves to be nothing more then lies. words so specific and individual cannot be shared once again with someone different. therefore they become lies. but they are no longer my lies. no longer something I will or can believe.

Even though I told you I wished you the best I can't help but want you to be hurt, to be in pain, and feel as miserable as I do. I know it's wrong, but thats just simply the way I feel.

I know it may hurt for a while, but letting go of you was the right thing to do. I know you felt hurt in the beginning. like I had betrayed you. as often as I tried to explain why I did it I know you did not understand. you probably never will. I know that both of us can only be happier in the end, rather then if I had held onto you... if you were still 'Mine'.

The Love I used to feel for you is (hopefully only temporarily) turned to bitterness, and something close to hatred. so this is my goodbye to you. someday I hope I really can wish you the best with a real sincerity.

Why can't you just hold me?

Comfortable as I am
I need your reassurance
And comfortable as you are
You count the days

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care
still care

You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all

But if I wanted silence
I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness
I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection
I'd audition
And if I didn't love you
You would know

And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care

Poor little misunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days


And why can't you just hold me
And how come it is so hard
And do you like to see me broken
And why do I still care

Day 25

Day 24

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there. I live inside my head. it's a wonderful place... most of the time... Unless I wander to far into the darkness. those days are rather gloomy, but for the most part the place I live is a place of all kinds of possibility's.

Day 23

This makes me laugh everytime. "cause my daddy taught me good!"

watch the itunes song too ;)

Day 22

Check out my other blog where I post my photography.

http://jossypix.blogspot.com/

also follow me on twitter?

http://twitter.com/#!/PeaceLoveCrepes

Day 21

Bahaahaha, that is something that I would not know to much about. I'm not a cook, although I do love creating.... mixtures of strange sorts. whenever I do cook, I pretend that I am a really fancy cook. hehe, it's fun =)

my siblings love it when I cook these Hash brown type thing. haha. I'm just going to call it "Hatch browns."

cook a baked potato (until it's tender)

Grate it into a pan that has either oil or butter.

add Johnny's salt, along with some other salt.

add grated cheese in.

a few drops of lemon juice

once they start to brown add 2 TBS of Cream cheese...

it's waaaay much yummy in your tummy :)

Day 20

A talent? A hobby? it's pretty much the same sorta kinda.... isn't it?

hmm....

pretty much everything in the before are hobby's that I enjoy doing, so I'm counting that as the same.

Day 19

Hmmm... a talent of mine?

On a good day, my mind is full of creativity. I LOVE creating. anything and everything. I have an eye for beauty (or so I am told at least.)

I love creative writing

Creating Music

Singing

Taking pictures of beautiful things...

I'm not sure if these count as a talent (I'm not even that great at all of them) but it's the things I love, therefore I will classify them as talent?

Day 18

Oi, what a terrible, wonderful, and very broad topic...

I'm young... and don't really want to get married anytime soon. maybe in a few years :P

I do have a few random details planned, but I'm not even going to go there for now. aha.

Day 17

these are two "art" pieces that I painted...

Day 16

At certain times certain songs can make me cry, but there is only one song that seems to get my choked up every time. it's "His name" by "Fireflight"

Part of the reason I think it gets the good of my emotional side is because of the timing that it came into my life. It was perfect. I just needed it... along with the message that it carries. listen to it. maybe you'll understand what I mean.

Day 15

So I'm frustrated because I actually did write this one, but some how for some reason it didn't post or save.... so I am skipping. MUAHAHA

maybe someday when I am not feeling so lazy I will rewrite it

Again, not apart of the 30 days

“

—

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.

Day 14

Okay, well this one is a little easier to answer, believe it or not.

Sassy shoes - My hot pink stilettos

comfy shoes - My black moccasins

Summer shoes - Gold Sandles - which have been broken at least 4 times, but I still love em'

Day 13

My favorite outfit? are you for real? your seriously asking a GIRL her favorite outfit? well I have no answer for you.

I have about 3 jeans

and a gazillion tops. I'm not going to try to name even a few of my favorite items. so hopefully that narrows it down for ya

Day 12

I've procrastinated writing this one cause I honestly don't know if there actually is something that I am OCD about...

hmmm lets see...

I always check behind the shower curtain before I use the bathroom. hah. that's the only thing that I am really OCD about, other then that I am pretty OCD free =)

NOT apart of the 30 days.

Wake up in the morning
It's not so bad
I can taste you on my lips
And it makes me sad
There's a part of me that just wants you back
You're the one thing I want that I never did have
That I never did have, oh noo

Fill me up
Steam me up
Hear me shout
Tip me over and pour me out

Pour me out
On the concrete next to your feet
Do I have to cry out
Can you hear me
Oh just to be
With you

Oh gosh this bed
It feels so cold
My head was led by the lies you told
But to this day my heart you stole
In a bind left behind waiting for your call

Fill me up
Steam me up
Hear me shout
Tip me over and pour me out

Pour me out
On the concrete next to your feet
Do I have to cry out
Can you hear me
Oh just to be
With you

Find me outside sitting in the rain
On the curb in pain my heart is breaking
You look at me holding on to a dream that filled me long ago,
But I'm still waiting.
I'm still holding on

Pour me out
On the concrete next to your feet
Do I have to cry
Can you hear me
Oh just to be
Pour me out
On the concrete next to your feet
Do I have to cry out
Can you hear me
Can you hear me
Do I have to cry
Can you hear me
Oh just to be, just to be with you
Oh just to be with you
Ohhh just to be with you

Day 11

A picture of me recently... a week old? nuff said.

Day 10

Waa-la! two pictures of me when I was just a little tike. Over 10 years ago